I figured some day i could get a grant or a Blessed To Be Called Lala Hippie shirt. Its been roughly 4 years and I havent gotten any funding for my projects yet, mostly I think its been a tough learning curve. Usually the feedback on my proposals suggest a strong weakness in terms of long term commercialization. Basically, even when Ive gotten the engineering stuff right I still dont have the sales or biz skills to pull it off. I love making lists, I make lists for everything. If I dont make lists I feel like im slacking off. I think alot all day every day, my projects are the primary focus and it doesnt matter what im doing my projects are always on my mind. I do alot of simulations and calculations and write up design specifications in preparation for my proposals and this often requires keeping up with the state of the art in any new tech that can be applied to robotics. I prefer thinking things through and having a plan, usually my plans are extremely detailed, and I often have multiple contingencies and strategies in case of failure. I often contemplate things in terms of possible outcomes and the various strategies to achieve them. Usually by the time I decide to pursue a goal its practically guaranteed and almost always achieve my goals (mainly my business has been the only failure and the goals within it).
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In my head theres always alot going on Blessed To Be Called Lala Hippie shirt, much of it seems to pop up out of nowhere. So generally I need something to focus on otherwise my mind becomes an overwhelming nightmare. I never really feel relaxed, it takes an enormous amout of effort and time to relax just a bit and its extremely difficult to keep up. Similarly, it takes an enormous effort to identify and understand my emotions, often I have no idea how I feel and in the past I didnt want to know. But as I got older this had to change, usually this takes months of deep introspection and reflection. Over time ive started to learn to do it faster but its really hard to know how I feel most of the time. I am extremely introverted and extremely intuitive.
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