I empathize with you greatly. It’s so so hard to write a list out like this. Because once you say it out loud it sounds like it was all a Blessed To Be Called Mom And Nanny Floral shirt . There’s no way a parent could treat their child like this, right? I recently went through and wrote out a cumulative list for myself too. It spanned a couple days because sometimes I would get overly emotional and step away. Other times I would remember them days after I last wrote them down. I’ve told my therapist about it and she asked me how it made me feel. I truthfully don’t feel any better. It sucks having the “should I cut them out?
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Thread hanging over your head. It’s anxiety inducing and I can tell you from personal Blessed To Be Called Mom And Nanny Floral shirt that I’ve had many sleepless nights just tossing and turning trying to figure out what is best for my personal sanity. I’m sorry you’re going through this… I’m the same age as you and I actually got kicked out at 19 and was told to never come back. I would say it’s nice if your mom to allow you to come back home, but it’s probably not because she’s a caring mother. It’s most likely because she likes knowing she has done semblance of control over you. And that’s a stipulation for most, if not all, Nparents it seems. I would highly recommend beginning therapy. I also joined JustNoFamily and that community has also had some good insight and tools to help.