I have been talking with Disney Castle Magical Shirt almost weekly for the last 2 months. So many things I learned as a child and young adult have been challenged by this, not because of speaking to him, but by the horrifically skewed life I grew up in, that his side of things is challenging. My mother lied about so many things, and now I have to rebuild so much of my thinking about him. I am hopeful that you will get beyond what has been seared into you and get insight into your feelings. It is terrible to have such heartache.
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There’s a lot of us like you out there. I’m 38 and just tracked my Disney Castle Magical Shirt down a couple years ago. I decided I didn’t want to meet him, but long story short, I did find a sister I never knew I had who also didn’t know about me- and the resemblance in everything from appearance to personality was uncanny. She’s now an awesome part of my life and a wonderful aunt (she never knew she would be one) to my little boy. It took me a while, but I’m glad I went looking. Just some experience from one brother to another. Good luck, man!