Sensory processing issues are super common in ADHD. One of the many Everybody vs Injustice shirt doing chores is so impossible is the unpleasantness of the sensations. Hard to mow the lawn or vacuum the house when the sound causes you to experience physical pain (solution: earplugs, but then watching youtube videos to make the task go by faster is impossible, so these are tasks I simply never complete unless it’s 100% necessary and even then only because I find watching dirt from an overturned potted plant disappear into the vacuum hose). It’s hard to wash the dishes when the sound of dishes clacking together is painful (solution: earplugs and laptop with video on with subtitles or earplugs and TV with the volume turned up high enough to be heard without hurting). It’s hard to mop because the smell of bleach is unpleasant (solution: milder scented swiffer mop and again, all of this while watching TV so I’m not bored). Doing laundry is a pain in the ass because it involves so many steps (sorting colors, putting clothes in the hamper, transporting hamper with clothes into the laundry room, putting in the laundry soap, waiting for the laundry (it makes an awful noise), moving the laundry to the drier, removing lint from the lint catcher, adding dryer sheets, waiting for the laundry to finish drying (this machine also makes an awful noise), putting the clothes back into the hamper and transporting it back to the apartment, taking the clothes out of the hamper, folding the clothes, putting the clothes away, then repeat all steps with other colors). Rewarding myself at each step might make it more palatable now that I think of it, but I have yet to try that or to do my laundry in two months. Breaking down tasks into tiny steps and finding how to make each step more palatable might help.
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You have my sympathies on your Velociraptor child. What is a Velociraptor child, you ask Everybody vs Injustice shirt? I have one, and have coined the term to describe a kid who, like the Velociraptors in Jurassic Park, systematically tests every panel of the electric fence, over and over while all the other dinosaurs get shocked once and leave it alone forever.
Kids like this are super intelligent and see right through rewards and punishments – they want what they want, when they want it, and what they want is the freedom IN THE MOMENT to do whatever they please. All that exists is the present, and they’ll do whatever they deem necessary to do their activity of choice in the present moment. My daughter was like this, she has been diagnosed with ADHD and I suspect there’s also an ODD component. What helped her was getting diagnosed and medicated, and strict, never-wavering boundaries over a long course of time. I’d get your son tested for ADHD and ODD for sure.