You’re not wrong, that’s certain. But I would make the stipulation equal for his family and yours. Second hand smoke is not the only negative factor of having young Gnome hello darkness my old friend shirt around nicotine and vaping, IMO, is just as irresponsible as smoking. Our families don’t smoke, but my grandfathers did when I was born as did my father’s sister. My mother set the rule for everyone – you do not smoke when you are with the baby (inside or outside), period, end of discussion. My mother was an ex-smoker herself, she tolerated no bullshit. My Mom’s father quit, my dad’s father respected the rule, his sister did not. It was a contributing factor (among many, many others) that led to me having no relationship with my father’s family until I was an adult myself.
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The problem here sounds like potentially your husband. If he’s hasn’t already, show him the evidence of third hand smoke and SUDI. Be vulnerable to him about your Gnome hello darkness my old friend shirt for you baby. Create an environment where he feels the need to fulfill his role as a protector. Hopefully he will then communicate this to the rest of the family with ease and it will no longer be about you. It may seem odd but as a new parent he be feeling unsure of his role as a man. Allow him to take charge of protecting you and his baby through telling him how you need him, not just what you want him to do. Wish you the best of luck, I had a similar situation and 13 months down the track it’s all but a blip to those involved
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