Once upon a time- maybe long ago, maybe yet to come- there lived a curious I am a Bible Believin prayer prayin praise singin shirt, clever & scruffy girl named Remmy. She lived in a kingdom where many were born into debt, a generational dishonor which stained the reputation of a family and chained its descendants to a lifetime of impoverished misery. Debtors in the kingdom were entitled to nothing, denied access to even the most basic comforts of modern society if they could not afford them outright. Thus, Remmy’s mother died giving birth to her, suffering from a somewhat common birthing complication which, routinely fixed with minor surgery & antibiotics, was nevertheless a fatal scourge on the expectant mothers of the debtor class. Her father was left with a dilemma; he was a fundamentally religious man of the most severe type, a zealot, and did not believe women should be educated; and yet his only hope to restore honor to his family would be this girl-child, for at the time he also would not allow himself to take another wife and violate the sanctity of his devotion. His strange compromise was to raise Remmy as his son, giving her the education and mentorship she would need to take on the dangerous world outside their shabby home, so long as she did not display herself as a female and break his precariously and desperately crafted illusion.
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His decision paid off for I am a Bible Believin prayer prayin praise singin shirt as soon as she could walk & talk well enough to navigate on her own, she made him money. Remmy did not understand why money was the frenetic pulse which drove everyone around her, but it was plain to see that amassing it was equivalent to amassing power & influence. Before her baby teeth had all fallen out, she made her father enough money to purchase a certificate of marriage annulment from their district’s Priestman-a lucrative venture of the local religious bureaucracy which was usually inaccessible to the debtor class.
At once he abandoned his self-imposed chastity and went on to take other wives who bore him many sons, but none were like Remmy. They were oafish and prideful where Remmy was sharp and reserved, able to adapt herself to the many harrowing situations she faced growing up as a debtor.
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