So, I’m going to be honest, I couldnt finish the list because it is so similar to my own. But I will say, from what i read that you are not crazy Iconic Firebird Logo Shirt , this shouldn’t have happened to you, and you matter. This pattern of abuse is so insidious because it makes you feel so confused and at war with your own mind. It’s also so hard to explain what happened to people and even if you manage it, chances are the narc beat you to it and that person already thinks you’re the problem. That confusion and loneliness put together still gets me low sometimes. And the guilt kept me from cutting ties with her until I was 30. My advice would be, whatever kind of mother you wish she was to you..think about what kind of love that would be and learn to give it to yourself. Then she will cease to have power over you.
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Oh my god. The only reason I can think of for her letting you back into her house is just to continue to abuse you. Because that’s what she knows brings her “comfort Iconic Firebird Logo Shirt” or a sense of “normalcy.” But it most definitely isn’t what she did to you was flat out abuse you and she does not deserve you as a daughter. I’m so sorry any of this happened to you. It shouldn’t have at any age or point in time. Be independent, and don’t fall into her trap of “letting you back home” if you struggle with anything. You can find supports on your own that don’t need to involve her