Without changing from his blank expression, he cut his eyes toward Don, before briefly reaching out with his own Mister trooper shirt and offering what was far too rough of a handshake for Teegan. She had barely started to collect her thoughts on his unusual and calloused response before he was gone. He ducked in and out of the rooms, somehow moving quickly while simultaneously taking his time. There was something distracting about the way he moved, but Teegan could not place her finger on what it was. He was clearly a military man, standing with perfect posture, and having an unnatural precision in his movements. After about five minutes of him stalking about her home, looking for something only he knew, he returned to the living room.
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I like some of your descriptive terminology- ‘-somehow moving quickly while simultaneously taking his time-‘ but as a whole I think that Teegan’s Mister trooper shirt could be smoothed out more, along with some of the context of the situation. Who’s Don? I thought he was her boyfriend at first, but he’s a cop? Initially I thought she was a cop because she had a gun, but that seems a stretch. I still don’t know who Teegan is or what she does other than being afraid of her stalker. All in all, at the moment it’s serviceable, but a good start of an unlikely relationship. Some things could be added and rearranged to make it better. I like where you’re going with it, so keep writing!