Pretty soon, the inevitable happened. He closed his eyes, mouth agape; teeth all but yellowed and crumbled. I watched as his My Favorite Football Player Calls Me Mom shirt rose up and down, completely in sync; slow but steady and then it stopped. Just like that, Mr Caprish was dead. There was no one left to cry but me – he didn’t have any children and all his other family was dead. There was no one left to grieve and I did grieve. The sorrow doesn’t deplete with time, if anything, it elevates – gets stronger and more intense. Can you imagine what it’s like to die completely alone? No, I bet you can’t. This is why I exist.
I might as well get this bit out of the way. I’m a death midwife – another more common term for it is a death doula. It’s not the sort of job I imagined myself to be in but we never do, do we? We never end up doing what we thought we would. Death doula’s require little to no medical experience – our whole purpose is to provide spiritual and/or emotional support to those moments from death. Those terminally ill patients that are past hospice care or those that have no families. You’d be surprised how many are affected by the latter.
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Shortly after the death of Mr Caprish, I was assigned another terminally ill patient. His name was Allen Rose. I didn’t know too much about My Favorite Football Player Calls Me Mom shirt at the time – aside from his debilitating illness and the fact that he didn’t have a family. Apparently, Mr Rose had been given five days to live and he specifically asked for a death doula to assist him in his passing.
A few days later, I found myself standing outside his house. It was on the outskirts of town. I won’t say where because I don’t want anyone knowing where I’m from so I’ll keep that bit vague. The house itself was moderately sized, big enough for a family of three. I took a moment to examine it – it looked extremely run down. The maroon brick crumbled and flaked, the windows were covered in filth and the whole house oozed abandonment.
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