He’s not “trying.” He’s being actively mean to the cat. That isn’t even just plain existing in the same same Non Compliant Forever Truck Shirt . I had an ex who didn’t like cats, but basically just left mine alone and accepted that it was their house too. Your BF wants to be the alpha; you describe yourself as the alpha; problem is, cats don’t give a damn about alphas because they’re not pack animals. Determining the alpha in the house may work for dogs, but it’s pointless with cats because of that. The pack instinct isn’t there. The cat is the just cat – no greek letter involved. Your BF can act alpha at the cat all day and all night, it isn’t going to do anything other than get the cat upset.
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Brief entertaining story about alphas and cats: My dad pretty much thinks he’s the house alpha. Parents also had a cat who was Not Having That. Non Compliant Forever Truck Shirt were fine when mom was around, but then mom went out of town for a weekend and dad was left with the cat. Evening comes, dad locks cat out of the bedroom (where cat usually sleeps on mom’s side of the bed). Gets up, goes to the bathroom in the middle of the night (1 minute, max). Gets back, lies down….on a pillow wet with cat pee. Like love, cats will find a way.