I think your BIL is in a very vulnerable place. It is understandable that he would fantasize a Proud mother hen T-Shirt about a life with a nice person he has always had a crush on. I would write an email or note or something “Dear bIL, thank you for being vulnerable and telling me something important the other day. I was too surprised to know how to respond. Please know that I do not reciprocate those feelings. I do think highly of you and love nephew. Your relationship with Greg matters a great deal to both Greg and I. I know that this has been a very hard time in your life. I hope you are able to process everything happening, maybe in counseling, so that you can move on from your current feelings. In the mean time, I am happy to babysit nephew but it might be better if that happened at my house. warmly, your SIL” . Then tell your husband and see if everyone can get past it.
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Relax. He’s just in love with the idea of you. We’re all just big kids dreaming. He probably felt guilty for the Proud mother hen T-Shirt , and felt getting it off his chest would result in closure of his own guilt. He wants his happily ever after as sees what he doesnt have. Tbh, I think you handled it wrong by ghosting the situation now creating more anxiety when you eventually fully discuss this, which I think is necessary to resolve it. Discover his true intent, get to his inner child, how he’s feelings, what’s going on, ect. Imagine him as a boy, perhaps your son, and not a man for a moment before you judge. Ask him a question like “What is your purpose for confessing?”, and then just put on your best psychologist hat and listen. Acknowledge him once he has it all out, tell him you understand, then tell him how you feel.