NTA. First of all, is your kittygirl spayed? If not it then she WILL send you crazy with the Snowflake Nutrition Facts Shirt , rolling, rubbing up against everything until it falls over etc every time she comes into season (and for some cats that can happen A LOT). If she IS already spayed it could be an anxiety issue. Is she being locked away from you at bedtime? Then she’s calling out for reassurance that she’s not alone or upset that she can hear/smell you but can’t find you. If letting her into the bedroom is an issue try giving her something that smells like you, a piece of your clothing or a nice squooshy cat bed that you’ve got your scent all over. On to the boyfriend. I’m sorry but as neutering doesn’t seem to be an option I’m afraid it sounds like he needs to be rehomed. He’s obviously more suited to being in a single male household due to territorial and aggressive behaviours that will only get worse as time goes by.
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NTA for standing up to him of course but E S H in general. Your boyfriend sounds like an awful controlling jerk with serious Snowflake Nutrition Facts Shirt issues and you sound like you know he’s awful but for some reason agreed to live with him and subject your existing animal companion to bad treatment? First of all you should have your kitty checked out to be on the safe side, secondly you need to check that man out of your life. I’m sorry to say E S H but you give no indication that bf’s terrible behavior started as a surprise after you moved in together, so it sounds like this discomfort to yourself and kitty was avoidable. Lastly, he said he never liked animals (because daddy)…this isn’t something you knew about the man you were about to move in with? As someone who lives with an animal…this never came up in conversation or you just ignored it and figured he would change with time?