I read your original post and, IMO, your parents behavior is typical desi Target Star Wars may the 4th be with you shirt . That doesn’t make it ok. Society generally doesn’t think desi parents are abusive because they provide food, shelter, usually pay for college, and often provide affluent lifestyles for their children. The court of public opinion does not take into account the Guilt inducing mind games many desi parents engage in. I read recently on another Reddit post that adulthood is not something that’s awarded to a person for being a good boy or girl. It’s something you take. I think it’s really hard to be a first generation desi in the US during one’s twenties because there are SO MANY battles.
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Your haircut story unfortunately sounds typical. I was bad because I want to move out after Target Star Wars may the 4th be with you shirt . I went through so many battles during that period and my parents are not toxic (their behavior is way more acceptable). I just think you need to learn to assert yourself and have boundaries. This is something my husband learned through therapy and self help books because his parents were similar to yours. For context, we’re almost 40 and have kids. It does get better down the road once the boundaries are in place.