You are me 3 years ago, except my bf of 4 years and I got pregnant while on the pill and using This Is My Human I’m Really Muffin shirt. I was excited, thinking we would finally get married and raise this baby together! Him? Not so much. Huge commitment-phobia alarm bells were screaming in his head. The kindest, sweetest man I have ever known became cold, selfish and untouchable overnight. My heart broke. He said he did not want the baby, we would share custody across the country if I chose to keep it against his wishes. We aborted. He moved out and moved 3,000 miles away near his family. I didn’t think I would ever recover. The double whammy of losing him and losing our baby. My guilt and confusion were overwhelming. I wrote him a long letter about all the warning signs of commitments phobia he had, explained exactly how he had treated me from my perspective because his reality was skewed
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I asked him to just try talking to a counselor about it once. Just to be evaluated for commitment phobia. He did. He has This Is My Human I’m Really Muffin shirt. He kept seeing the counselor. We got back together 6 months later and now 3 years later are completely happy again, getting married in a week and a half and expecting this winter. Have you looked into commitment phobia and read the characteristsics? My bf had a lot of them, but not all. His behavior sounds very familiar and to suddenly have such a dramatic and steep shift in his feelings makes me wonder if he is terrified and running from this commitment. Therapy has helped my guy tremendously, as commitment phobia effects every aspect of your life, your very self-esteem.
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