I remember in the run-up to the 2000 election, when America was fat and happy from the Three Gnomes Easter Day Bunny Eggs Hunting shirt and our biggest concern was figuring out how to spend this enormous pile of money we had, how all these leftists were swearing up and down there wasn’t an inch of daylight between Bush and Gore and the only way to see REAL change was to set your vote on fire and vote for Ralph Fucking Nader. See, the Democratic Party wasn’t giving them exactly what they wanted, which makes them sellout neoliberal whores, so they decided to really teach those hack frauds a lesson and do everything in their power to make sure George W. Bush was President on September 11th, another event that “no one could have seen coming” except for everyone that did.
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We all know how that turned out, of course: The Three Gnomes Easter Day Bunny Eggs Hunting shirt spent the next four years ignoring George W. Bush so they could focus on winning the approval of a couple thousand Nader voters that would never be happy with anything. Nader went on to become President in 2004 but was defeated by Barack Obama, who is a Republican in this timeline because what’s the difference anyway? The ironic thing about Nader’s incredibly successful strategy that worked out exactly as planned is that afterward, the go-to bitchy retort every Nader voter had when they got pelted on the street with rocks following the Florida recount was that “they didn’t spoil the election for the Democrats because it was the party’s job to win them over and they failed”. We’re seeing the exact same scenario playing out again today, only Bernie bros are even more insufferable because they still have the same sense of childish entitlement Naderites had, only for some bewildering reason they get really offended when you point out that it’s Bernie’s job to win the Party over and failed.