Most atheists never believed in God, because that’s the proper noun used as a Type 1 Diabadass I’m So Alpha My Beta Cell Stop Functioning T shirt for the specific deity that only Christians and Mormons believe in. Jews do not use the full name God, but leave out a letter, even if they aren’t avoiding using another name instead, they write G-d. Muslims usually use the name Allah. But most people aren’t even “people of the book” at all, and instead believe in different deities, Vishnu, Coyote, Thor, etc etc etc. Since people fall away from all forms of belief to become atheist, it follows that most atheists never did believe in “God”, the deity who is named like you might name your pet dog “Dog.” “Simply because their prayers weren’t answered” doesn’t cut it, either, although I suppose it is true for some. Atheists differ wildly from each other, not just in what, if anything, they used to believe in, and perforce how they once thought prayer was supposed to work and thus whether or not it was ever answered, but also in the route they took to get here. But taking the thin pie wedge of atheists who were Christian, we still have the apologists who say “sometimes the answer is no” or “God works in mysterious ways” and so forth. Unanswered prayers is a gap that Christians have worked hard to plug, they, on their own, are unlikely to be the single cause of losing faith…although I’ll grant that the shoddy nature of the plugs is likely a contributing factor.
The frantic confusion of the Halloween/Xmas decoration overlap period. Someone should really sort that shit out. The bombardment of advertising that encourages and approves overindulgence from all sides. I don’t need any encouragement along these lines. I already have self-control issues. The economic stimulus of the Type 1 Diabadass I’m So Alpha My Beta Cell Stop Functioning T shirt spending spree is no doubt welcome to all businesses but I look at the CRAP we buy and only see landfill life-spans drop. Other people’s conversations invade my ears while loitering in the toy aisles as people snatch cheap junk from shelves to tick boxes on their lists; Mum, Dad, Katie-Sue, Katie-Sue’s newborn, the dog etc. “Ohhh I can’t think of anything for Steve’s family” – “I’m just getting everyone chocolates” – “I already did that for Kindy group!”. Being forced to participate in Secret Santa activities that aren’t secret and are usually covered off by 2 people in the group as no one else can be bothered.
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As I went through the many changes in life like break ups, loss of friendships, death, she would literally try to lick the tears from my face. If I was angry, she became manic and desperately tried to calm me down. As I became addicted to drugs, she would stare at me and remind I couldn’t be wasted. When I was at the darkest of life, contemplating suicide, she demanded I get it together. She wagged her little tail so hard that she broke the tip of Type 1 Diabadass I’m So Alpha My Beta Cell Stop Functioning T shirt and blood was all over the walls in the hallway. You see, I didn’t want to cry in front of her so I would only cry in the shower so that she didn’t hear or see….she waited in the hallway and somehow knew how depressed I was. She sat there wagging her tail into a bloody mess. When I realized what was on the wall I broke down. I held her as I fell to my knees realizing what my emotions were doing to her. I stopped the madness and forced myself to get my life on track for her. It wasn’t about just me, it was also about my Meme and my other pets. They were all a mess and it was my fault.
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I guess my would have been Christmas Eve and Day of 1985. We went out Xmas eve to a friends house. About 11 I get a call from my father than our house burnt to the ground.The only thing we had was the clothes on us and two cars. By the time we got there, there was nothing but rubble. It was -5 degrees that night and the oil furnace blew up.All the kids Xmas presents had been placed on the porch just prior to leaving. My Type 1 Diabadass I’m So Alpha My Beta Cell Stop Functioning T shirt of 13 years passed too. We went to a drug store to try to get some kind of presents. The store manager sold us anything at 75% off. We stayed with my parents that night. The next day we went to the other grandparents. On the way to the grandparents we saw a car on the side of the road with a flat tie. I stopped to help. He had a tire but no jack or tools. I did and it fit. It was a young man and wife and two children headed about 150 miles to their parents. They had barely enough money to make it.
The other two were hyper-focused on their careers, had few friends outside of work, had no sports or hobbies, and even if they were married they had little romance in their lives. They saw their extended families maybe at Thanksgiving, Xmas, weddings, and funerals. They were always “too busy” to get together with friends. Their friends “understood,” so the friends included them less and less. For those two, when it became apparent that the Type 1 Diabadass I’m So Alpha My Beta Cell Stop Functioning T shirt, chemo, and radiation were not able to save their lives, they were depressed and angry. They felt cheated and betrayed. They regretted not having spent the time and energy to develop more and deeper friendships and having postponed doing all the things they’d told themselves they would do at some point in the future when they “had more time”.