Please leave this relationship, your Weight lifting when nothing goes right go left lift shirt will respect you in the long run and they will know not to stay in something like this when they grow up. In total they will have way less truama. There’s a lot I can say and want to tell you about what you wrote, but it won’t mean anything if you don’t value yourself – you are putting yourself in cycle of in less pain and heartbreak and you cheating will just restart that cycle, only it will be 10 times worse. Please end this, and never look back into starting a relationship with her, because it’s not ever going to be “starting”, just continuing the cycle of your pain, her pain, but ultimately her lies and cheating.
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If you do decide to leave her then please seek some kind of Weight lifting when nothing goes right go left lift shirt , counseling and closure. Use your post to remember what do and not start this relationship again – feel the emotions you felt when those things happened, it will be painful but it will help you to not do make the same mistakes, and if you are tempted to get back into it or find yourself in a situation/moment that tempts you, look back on your post and what you felt, because we are all guilty of repeating mistakes and I’m seeing the bigger picture what moment we find ourselves in.