This is definitely abuse. It is economic abuse, verbal abuse and emotional abuse. This is not ok You Cant Scare Me I m A Bus Driver Shirt . Make some plans. Talk to a domestic violence support service. Get copies of any documents you need and mail them to your mother. Get a secret bank account and a secret email address. Make plans. He needs help too but you need to think of your baby. This is not the role model you need for your baby.
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It is okay to love someone for their potential, and realize they arent living up to it. It is okay to still love them yet love oneself AND THE You Cant Scare Me I m A Bus Driver Shirt (S) more and leave for your own well being. It is called: cut your losses. You cant do anything about the past, but you can shape the future. It is like your wedding: in the moment you were making all excuses for him being so nasty to you and disregarsing your feelings and needs completely, as well as you putting him on a podest and worshipping him because you “love him” — yet in hindsight you hate YOURSELF (not him, which puzzles me) for it. Right now you are in the same situation: making excuses. Telling yourself “but I love him” as if this was the reason being trampled, abused and ignored is suddenly okay. And if you stay, you will hate yourself even more in the future.