The Atlanta Falcons unironically broke the NFL regular season record with 13 wins, went 30-0 in the first half against the Green Bay Packers in the playoffs, gained a 28-3 lead on the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl, and then lost the lead and did not win the championship. Matt Ryan unironically won unanimous MVP, back to back MVPs, and exclaimed “We not goin’ home!” during a game, before being blocked by LeBrady a record 7 times in one series and indeed going home. Julio Jones unironically said in a post game interview after going up 28-3 that football “is a man’s game” and LeTom Brady “got his feelings hurt”, LeMVP proceeded to average 36pts/12ast/10reb and won the next 3 games and the championship. These things all actually happened, the thoughts of this reality stay with me at all times. I go to sleep at night looking up at the stars, wondering what celestial being aligned the universe in such a way to make an event as amazing as I’m just here for the Benito’s Super Bowl shirt occur. I wake up smiling every morning knowing that the Falcons genuinely went 13-5 and choked a 28-3 lead in the Super Bowl. That even if time is a nonlinear fourth dimension, going to back to stop it from happening will simply create another universe where it happens again. That the state of ass-blastedness emanating from the city of Atlanta is eternal and infinite, it crosses countless dimensions of the multiverse and its unending torment knows no bounds. I gaze into the endless cosmic wonders around me, still in disbelief that it actually happened, but knowing that my purpose in life was to be born just in time to see LeGod get one for da land.
()I’m just here for the Benito’s Super Bowl shirt, Sport T-shirt and Funny T-shirt
It’s phrased a little confusingly, but it basically means anything short of a Super Bowl victory would decrease his playoff winning percentage. Eli, for instance, is .667 iirc, so a run to the Super Bowl and a loss (2-1 or 3-1) wouldn’t hurt his overall winning percentage. Basically the stat just means he has an above .667 I’m just here for the Benito’s Super Bowl shirt in the playoffs. The stat is also a little misleading because a Brady loss in the Super Bowl from the wild card round would actually raise his win percentage.
()The victim was his personal chef. His lawyer claims they wanted the case file sealed, because they were trying to pay a settlement to the alleged victim, which is wild in itself. I’m not even sure why you tell a judge that. He is being charged with felony strangulation, which means documentation, either from law-enforcement, or medical, which shows intent to stop someone from breathing. Particularly for prosecutors to bring these charges against a celebrity in I’m just here for the Benito’s Super Bowl shirt, they wouldn’t do so without some pretty damning evidence. Not sure he can buy his way out, at this point? Massachusetts, like my home state of NY, you don’t even need a complaining witness testimony to proceed with a felony case.
