Reaching seventy doesn’t mean you have to lose your edge! This “Raccoon I’m not cranky I’m just seventy and fluent in sarcasm shirt” is the perfect way to celebrate with a healthy dose of humor. If you’re turning 70 and your sarcasm skills are sharper than ever, this shirt is your new uniform!
What Makes This Sarcastic Shirt Epic
This isn’t just another birthday tee; it’s a badge of honor! Imagine wearing this to your 70th birthday celebration, a family gathering, or just while running errands. It’s a guaranteed laugh riot, a testament to your witty personality, and a comfortable way to navigate your seventies. Made with a super-soft cotton blend, this shirt is as cozy as a well-worn joke. Available in sizes S to 3XL.
Who Rocks This Best
This shirt is for the queens and kings of sarcasm, the masters of wit, and anyone who’s earned the right to be a little “cranky” (but isn’t!). It’s perfect for everyday wear, a memorable 70th birthday present, or as a reminder that laughter is the best medicine. Show off your sassy side and your love for raccoons with this unforgettable tee!
With each Raccoon I’m not cranky I’m just seventy and fluent in sarcasm shirt, you’re contributing to creating a green tree. To keep your shirt looking its best, machine wash cold, inside out, and tumble dry low. Sarcasm not included with washing instructions.
👕 About Raccoon I’m not cranky I’m just seventy and fluent in sarcasm shirt
The Ultimate Everyday Essential Elevate your wardrobe with the signature Teejeep touch. Our premium t-shirts are crafted for those who demand the perfect balance of rugged durability and cloud-like softness. Whether you’re hitting the streets or relaxing at home, this is the tee you’ll reach for every time.
Premium Fabric: 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton. We’ve filtered out the impurities to create a fabric that is exceptionally smooth, breathable, and lightweight.
Tailored Construction: Featuring a Unisex Retail Fit with side-seams for a polished silhouette and shoulder taping to ensure the shirt holds its shape, wash after wash.
The Feel: Ultra-soft to the touch with a lightweight drape that feels broken-in from day one.
High-Def Printing: Our advanced ink-to-fiber bonding process ensures your design stays vibrant without the heavy, "plastic" feel of cheap prints. No cracking, no peeling—just quality.
📏 Sizing & Fit
Find your perfect match with our versatile retail-fit sizing.
Classic Fit: Fits true to size. Order your standard size for a sleek, contemporary look.
Streetwear Fit: Want that relaxed, oversized aesthetic? Size up 1–2 times.
Pro Tip: To ensure the perfect fit, compare your favorite shirt at home to the dimensions in our Size Chart located in the product images.
✨ Care Guide
Keep your Teejeep gear looking brand new. Since we use 100% natural cotton, following these steps will minimize shrinkage:
Wash: Turn inside out. Machine wash cold with similar colors.
Dry: Tumble dry on low or hang dry for longevity.
Iron: Use a cool iron if necessary. Avoid ironing directly over the print.
Avoid: Do not use bleach or dry clean.
📦 Production & Shipping
Every Teejeep order is made-to-order just for you. We don't do dusty warehouse stock—we print fresh when you click buy.
Processing: Please check the "Shipping and Policies" section for our current handcrafted production window.
Shipping: Standard orders ship via USPS. Need it faster? Check out our shipping upgrades at checkout (note: upgrades affect transit time, not production time).
Deadlines: Have a special event? Message us before you order to ensure we can meet your timeline.
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🤝 The Teejeep Guarantee
We’re obsessed with quality and even more obsessed with your satisfaction. If something isn't right, let us know—we’ll make it right.
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First off, the quality of their shirts say it all. Softness, fade resistance, durability. Then, as if that wasn't enough, an artist pours their infinitely passionate, and beautiful energy into their artwork, which then resonates with me on a fundamental level.AND THEN, as if THAT wasn't enough, they make underwear and undershirts of the same quality material. I AM A FAN OF THIS COMPANY AND THEIR MISSION. My goal is to own one shirt of each they have produced. And their nut huggers and undershirts. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
